MINDFUL MONDAY

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
~ Jeremiah 29:11 ~

Hope. It's a powerful word. Some may not have any. Sad, but true. I don't think that I would've had any hope, if it were not for the Lord & the promise of the verse above. This hope has gotten me through some tough times in my life.

I accepted Christ when I was 7 yrs old at the kitchen table of my childhood home. I was blessed to have my mother be the one to lead me to Jesus. I grew up in a Christian home, went to church 3 times a week, & even graduated from a Christian school. I married my best friend & the love of my life whom I met at church. We've been married today for 19 yrs! Did I have a perfect life? Reading that, you might think so. But, no, I had trials. I had ups and downs.

One of the most difficult times in my life was going through the heartache of infertility. Do you think that a girl in her mid-twenties who has just had her 2nd miscarriage in a year due to an ectopic pregnancy and emergency surgery & is told that she most likely will not be able to conceive, has any hope?? I was scared & defeated. I felt worthless and alone. The one thing in the world that I had wanted to be since I was a kid was a mom. I felt horrible as a woman that I could not give my husband a child. It as a dark place to be. I was terribly depressed for a long time. Hope? Oh no....not much.

We went through a few infertility procedures after visiting specialists. There were glimmers of hope...only to be shattered later. We were finally told that the only 'hope' was IVF. Not only could we not afford it, but after prayer & discussion, we felt it wasn't for us. I had always had adoption in the back of my mind, but Brian wasn't on board yet. So, we did nothing. I was losing all hope of ever becoming a mommy. Then I came accross an online support group for Christian women who had infertility issues. The group was called "Waiting on God's Timing". This group of ladies were a lifeline. I was able to laugh, cry, pray with, and support them & they did the same for me! It was around that time, that someone in the group posted the verse "Jeremiah 29:11.

THERE WAS THE HOPE!!! How had I missed it?? God was always there for me. He had always had a plan, I just needed to put all of my hope & trust in Him to complete it!!

I started to pray for Brian's heart to be opened to adoption. It took about 2 years, but the Lord opened his heart....and opened it WIDE!! We began to visit agencies & get our portfolio ready. Within a few months,we had our homestudy done & were on the waiting list. A month later, we received a call about a 4 yr old little boy that needed a home. We met Dakota an instantly fell in love! His adoption was finalized later that year! The Lord had completed His plan .... or had He?

We had pretty much give up all Hope on ever having an infant. (you'd think we had learned the first time!) We live in a very tiny home...only 2 bedrooms. In order to ever adopt again, the child would have to be a boy (legally) since they would have to share a bedroom. Also, it is very rare that you get an infant through Foster Care, unless you are a foster parent (which we weren't). We did not want to go through a private agency either and spend $20 - 30k on an infant. But, through all of those obstacles......the Lord new my heart ...He new my desire.

2 yrs after adopting Dakota, we received a phone call that his birthmom had another baby. It was a BOY. The state had taken the baby. Not only was this a baby, but a boy, AND Dakota's biological brother!! Talk about a BLESSING!! We applied for our foster care license and moved Nickolas in when he was 4 months old. His adoption was finalized by the time he was 1 and a half!! I got my baby!!! I never thought that I would be a mommy. But, the Lord had a plan for me....and now I have 2 beautiful boys!!

When I look back at all of the heartache that I went through in order to get to where I am today....I see His divine hand in and through it all. He was working...He was building my faith...My HOPE in Him!!

When all looks grim. When all you can see is your circumstances & your pain. Remember....He has a plan. Not a plan to hurt you or to harm you, but A HOPE for your future!!!